Dreams
by Leonard 356
Summary: What was real - his nightmares, or the life he thought that he was living? Warning: Character Death.


**AN:** This idea came to me while I was working on a couple of other ideas and wouldn't turn me loose until I wrote it down. I believe that everyone agrees that season 8 was a total disaster and tarnished the overall quality of of the show. Compare the finales for seasons 7 and 8 if there is any doubt. This story does not have a happy ending unless you believe in the afterlife.

And as always, I do not own Castle or any of its characters. Those belong to ABC and Marlowe.

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The sound of the Village People's 'YMCA' blared from Richard Castle's iPhone, forcing him to make a feeble attempt to silence the offending device. Rick chose the most annoying song he could find so that ignoring it was impossible. He tries to reach for it, but is unable due to the warm, and very feminine form wrapped around him like a Kudzu vine. Her hair fanned out against his chest and her chin poking into his sternum. He brushes her hair away from her face to take a look at the woman that was not only the love of his life, but truly his better half.

Lifting her head and gazing through slotted eyes as a string of drool trails from the corner of her mouth to a small pool that had formed on his chest, she mumbles 'five more minutes' and lowers her face back to where it was. She clamps her eyes shut tightly as if this would somehow stifle the offending noise. Rick finally manages to free his arm nearest the phone to silence the song for at least another five minutes.

He looks back to the woman that had made him happier than he could ever have dreamed of all those years ago. He was not prone to dwell on the past, but his only regret was not telling her that he loved her the moment he realized it and not let her push him away out of fear. They had wasted so much time because of fear. Either fear of rejection, fear of failure, fear of telling the other how they truly felt.

Rick still remembered that night when everything seemed to change eight years ago. It was at the swings, their swings and for the first time, Kate truly opened up to him. She had taken, and of course passed, her captain's exam and had just left a meeting with political 'movers and shakers' who were feeling her out for the upcoming state senate race. She knew that her professional life was at a crossroads and unlike all of the times before when she had a tough choice, she solicited the opinion of her husband.

Castle was moved to near silence by her gesture as he knew just how monumental her asking for his advice truly was. Gathering up his composure, he first asked her what she wanted to which she replied she didn't know.

"Becoming captain is the next logical step if I want to stay with the NYPD..." Kate responds as if there was more to be said, but wasn't sure how to phrase it without sounding arrogant. "I'm just not sure if I want to be tied to a desk... I know Gates thinks that I'd make a good captain, but I'm not so sure..."

"So don't then." Rick calmly replies. "This is your choice and I'll support you with whatever you decide." He takes her hands in his as she nervously rocks in her swing and gives him a smile. "What about the state senate?"

"I like the idea of being able to do something that would help more people and I have to admit that the challenge of the unknown does appeal to me... But I'm afraid of what the press will put you and your family through."

Rick tugs on her hand so that she will look directly at him. "The people that approached you obviously know who you are married to and it didn't deter them... You don't have to worry about me or my family. If this is what you want, then we will do everything we can to help... I'm still best friends with the mayor and he would endorse you without question."

"But to run for state senate costs money, a lot of money..." Kate counters, almost as if she's trying to talk herself out of the idea.

Castle can see by the look on her face that she's weighing the pros and cons over in her head and leans across the swing to give her a gentle kiss. "If this is what you really want, don't worry about the money. I'm sure that the party has funds and what type of husband would I be if I didn't support the love of my life any way I can... Whatever you decide Kate, I'll be there with you..."

"But what about us? If I get elected, I'll have to move to Albany." His wife questions.

"I can write from anywhere as long as we're together." Rick counters "And we can come back to the city for the weekends..."

"But what about your PI business?"

"What about it? I only started it so that I could come up with a way to work with you..."

"But we won't be able to work together Rick. Not if I'm in the state senate." Kate comments forlornly.

"Either option will put an end to us working together Kate. And you and I both know that you are far too extraordinary to ignore these opportunities. I'll miss working with you, but I'd hate myself if that was what was holding you back from what you really want to do. Look, this is a lot to consider, and unless you've already made up your mind, do what you do best, solve the case." He leans over again and places a gentle kiss on her lips. "I love you. Always."

"I love you too." She replies as she rises to her feet and tugs on his hand. "We need to get home and changed. I've got to go see my husband be honored as a great writer..." She gives him a smirk and inquires. "You coming Castle?"

They spent the weekend discussing the pros and cons of both options and Kate decided to take a run at the senate seat. She could always take a leave of absence from the NYPD and return to her old job if she didn't win. Rick became her campaign manager of sorts, her speechwriter, and her number one supporter. Using his friendship with the mayor, Rick was able to solicit Weldon's help getting much needed endorsements from several unions.

It was the night of the election that Kate learned that she was pregnant with Lily. The signs were all there, but she simply assumed that her fatigue and inability to hold down foods was a byproduct of nerves and lack of sleep. She had spoken to Lanie a few days earlier and complained about the symptoms she was experiencing. The ME had a pretty good idea and came to the Castle loft Election Day with an assortment of home pregnancy tests. Kate scoffed at the idea at first, but in typical Lanie Parish fashion, she acquiesced and took the first of three tests. All of them revealed the same thing - Kate Beckett-Castle was going to be a mother.

Lanie was barely able to contain her happiness at the news and Kate wondered if the timing could be any worse. Rick was off doing public appearances at the time, trying to bring in the last minute vote for his wife.

Castle returned to the loft after the polls closed, confident that his wife would be a senator. Kate sat there nervously, debating how, and when, she would give Rick the news that he was going to be a father. They were supposed to appear at the hotel ballroom that Castle had reserved for her victory celebration. Rick quickly changed into on of his more conservative suits and returned his attention to the television that was tuned to the election returns.

Kate took her time changing into one of her business suits and adjusted her hair and makeup to look the part of a victorious candidate regardless of the outcome. Returning to the living room, Kate sees her husband engrossed with whatever the talking heads were saying. With the exit poll results and although only two percent of the precincts reporting, they were nearly ready to declare Kate the winner. Castle sprung from his seat an let out a whoop as if his favorite team just won the Super Bowl. He grabbed his approaching wife into his arms and twirled her around him.

"You did it! I told you that you were extraordinary and the people of New York agree!" Rick twirled her again and kissed her lips.

"Put me down you big oaf, before I lose what little lunch I had earlier all over your fancy suit. Dad." Kate replies with a mock look of disdain. She then pauses for a moment as Rick lowers her back to the floor.

Caught up in the euphoria of the moment, it took about a minute before what Kate had said finally registered. For a millisecond, Kate actually thought that Rick may be upset by the news. The smile on Castle's face was priceless, something that Kate would remember for as long as she lived.

"You're... Really?" Was all Castle could offer, unable to stop smiling.

"Wow. If I knew that all I had to do to render you speechless was to get pregnant, I'd have done it years ago..." Kate replies with a grin of her own. "Are you ok with this?"

"Ok? This is the second best, no make that the third best day of my life..." Rick replies.

"Third?" Kate questions.

"First, was the day that I first held Alexis in my arms and second, was the day you married me... Thank you Kate."

Beckett couldn't argue with his logic. She knew that Alexis would forever hold a special place in his heart and that their child would be just as special to him. Kate decided to push aside all of the fears that all first time mothers have for at least one evening, knowing that she has her RHD to help her through it all.

They made it to the hotel just in time to watch her opponent give his concession speech and offer Kate his best wishes. The ballroom was packed with family, friends and supporters. Rick helped Kate prepare her acceptance speech, making a few minor changes. They both agreed to keep her pregnancy secret until it was confirmed by her OBGYN.

Seven and a half months later, Lilith Johanna Castle was born. Both mother and daughter were fine, but the father was as nervous as he was with Alexis during the process. That all ended the moment he saw Kate holding Lilly to her chest moments after her birth. He didn't think that it was possible to love Kate any more than he already did, but seeing the two together convinced him that he was wrong. While the day Alexis was born would forever be number one for best day of his life, this would be as close to a tie as one could get.

Kate returned to her job at the statehouse two months later and Rick took over raising little Lilly. Despite the demands of her job, Kate was able to spend more time with her husband and child than she ever would have if she stayed in law enforcement. She had established a reputation as a problem solver and was a member of several key committees. The party had taken notice and as her term neared the end and she was considering another run, they approached her about the US Senate seat that ironically once belonged to William Bracken. The current senator that had been appointed by the governor when Bracken was removed from office wanted to return to his business, leaving a void that the party leaders were sure that Kate could fill. Of course it didn't hurt that she was married to a world famous author.

Rick had become even more famous as he had retired the Nikki Heat series in favor of a non-fiction account of the death of Johanna Beckett. He wrote of his wife as a tireless seeker of justice, willing to sacrifice herself. The novel became an international best seller and Kate's stock soared as its real life heroine. Castle became a model citizen, sharing his time between his writing and raising his daughter when Kate was at work. Rick watched as his wife grew into her new career. She became an eloquent public speaker, able to convey her passion for the things that were important to her.

Kate became pregnant with the twins during her run for the US Senate. This time she knew the signs and confirmed it with her gynecologist before informing Rick that he was about to be a father again. Lilly was three now and a total daddy's girl. Kate actually looked forward to this pregnancy as the first time doubts were gone. It also helped that she knew Rick would be thrilled. She couldn't help but marvel at how her husband seemed to be destined to be the perfect father.

That November, she won the election by less than one percent of the popular vote. Her opponent was a former US congressman who had served several terms and wanted to move up the food chain. He went after Kate's lack of experience and spent heavily to try to find something that he could use to discredit her. Unfortunately, Rick's book had came out only months earlier and with it's popularity, she was a celebrity for her actions. It was the day after the election before she was officially declared the winner. She also had an appointment with her OBGYN that afternoon. Rick came with her as he did with all of her other visits and watched as the first ultrasound was performed. It was then they learned that she was carrying not one, but two little Castle babies. While Kate was stunned, Rick couldn't get the smile from his face with a pick axe.

Rick carried that smug smile on his face as they rode back to the loft and Kate had to bring him down a peg. "You're really proud of yourself, aren't you?" She asks as his smile seems to grow, if that was possible. "Given our track record with pregnancies and elections, I'll have to either leave office after this term, or cut you off from sex during the campaign..." Kate had to laugh at the shocked look on her husband's face at the thought of no sex with her for a year. "Or, you make a visit to the urologist and get a snip..." She chuckles as she mimics a pair of scissors closing with her two fingers.

"You're an evil woman Senator Beckett... But I love you anyway..." Rick replies with a smile. "I can't wait to see the look on Lilly's face when she hears that she's going to have not one, but two new siblings in a few months... "

The next few months were as hectic as any they had experienced. Kate spent as much time as possible in Albany wrapping up her term there and the weekends in Washington DC trying to learn about her new job and put together a staff to aide her. When they weren't doing that, she, Lilly and Rick were searching for a new home in the city. It certainly helped that she was married to a millionaire as the cost of housing was outrageous. She knew that Castle didn't care as he wanted the best for her and his family. They finally found a place with three bedrooms not far from the Capitol.

The other holidays seemed to come and go with Thanksgiving nearly forgotten due to all of the other things going on. But there was no way Rick was going to let Christmas be anything less than spectacular. Lilly was still at the age to where she believed in Santa and he would do everything in his power to keep things that way for as long as he could. Everyone was there for the holiday. Alexis had flown in from California where she was in her second year of medical school at UCLA, both Martha and Jim were there along with 'uncles' Javi and Kevin. Of course 'aunts' Lanie and Jenny were there also, along with all of the Ryan children. To Castle, this was the true meaning of Christmas, being with the ones that you love.

Five months later, Kate was admitted to the obstetrics unit of Johns-Hopkins where she delivered two healthy boys, James Jackson and Richard Alexander Castle, eight hours later. Once again, Rick had to add another day to his list of the best days of his life, Kate returned to her job in the Senate and Rick took care of the boys. He started to work on his second non fiction novel about the triple X killer. Nine months later the book was released to even higher sales than his previous novel and the reviews were even more glowing. Several studios had already approached him about the movie rights.

The twins were nearly two when the nightmares started. Rick didn't know why or what brought them on. His life was perfect, he had a wife that he loved more than anything and a houseful of children that he adored. His career had never been better and Kate was successful. What more could a man want?

The nightmares always started the same. Instead of running for office, Kate decides to stay with the NYPD and takes over the 12th precinct. On her first day of the job, she receives a mysterious phone call and disappears. Sometimes she is shot and and he finds a trail of blood and a bracelet that he had bought her to celebrate her winning her first election... Other times he's looking for her and the people chasing her capture him, torturing him to find out her whereabouts. One time in the dream they covered his head with spiders in an attempt to get him to talk.

At first, he was able to laugh the dreams off as nothing more than the byproduct of something spicy he ate the night before. After all, they were preposterous to him. Kate abandoning her job on her first day? He captured and tortured with spiders? No, this was too crazy to be believable.

But the dreams continued and each night, a new facet was revealed. The most heartbreaking of those were the ones where Kate is standing before him in the loft telling him that she has to leave him. She won't tell him why, or for how long she will be gone and then simply leaves the loft without a word. The first few times he had this dream he nearly sprung out of bed in panic, only to see the sleeping form of his wife lying beside him.

Deciding that he needed to capture these dreams, he started a journal and would update it the following morning. He even considered seeing a psychologist, as he had no idea what was the reason for them. His days were so busy taking care of the boys and writing, that he had little time to dwell on the dreams. Rick and his morbid curiosity wanted to know the rest of the story and felt compelled to see where the dreams went. Then he could put them away where they belong out of his mind.

The dreams started to haunt his waking hours as they seemed so impossible to believe, yet so real in a sad, perverse way. The Kate in his dreams still loved him, but not as much as her quest to catch the bad guy. She had pushed him away from her entirely. The worst part was that another man had taken his place as her partner in her secret investigation. Castle could never envision Kate turning to someone else as her partner, even in his worst fears and wondered if these dreams were some type of side effect from having his memories wiped all those years ago.

The last dream he remembered started off with such promise. He and Kate were back together and had just taken down the bad guy known as LokSat. They had returned to the loft and he had offered to make her breakfast. He was standing over the stove, about to make her favorite pancakes when a man appears from the shadows and shoots him in the chest without a word. As he lays on the floor dying, Kate emerges from their bedroom and confronts his shooter. They both fire and Kate drops to the floor a few feet away from him. Rick can see that she has been shot also and they try to crawl to each other as the nightmare ends.

For whatever reasons the dreams stopped nearly as quickly as they began and Rick focused his attentions back where they belonged on his wife and children. Castle was looking for an idea for his next novel and for a brief moment thought about writing a biography on Kate. He was sure that the public would be fascinated in her life's story, but knew that this was not the time. That time will be when she decides to write her own memoirs once her political career is over.

Kate had a long weekend off for the Memorial Day holiday and they decided to return to the city for a few days. The awful sound of 'YMCA' blaring on the little speaker of the cell phone pulled him from his thoughts and Kate looks at him with a menacing look. "I thought you turned that damned thing off..."

"I did babe, but your five minutes are up and you've got three little ones in need of breakfast." Rick replies to the head laying on his chest.

"What would I have to bribe you with to get five more minutes?" Kate mumbles into his chest.

"How bout a kiss and I'll let you sleep until I wake the kids up?" Rick replies with his own offer.

She lifts her head and smiles. "I knew there was a reason I married you." She puckers her lips to pay her share of the bargain.

Castle tilts his head down and kisses her softly on the lips as she stifles a small moan. Kate could be very loving in the morning if the mood was right. Unfortunately, the opportunities to act on those feelings diminished to nearly zero once the children were born. Neither complained as it made the rare occasions where they could act on those feelings that much more special.

He slid out of bed wearing only his lounging pants and grabbed one of his faded tee shirts that he'd normally wear around the house when they were taking it easy as a family. After taking care of his biological needs in the bathroom, he shuffled off into the kitchen. With his priorities properly in order, he prepares a pot of coffee. Soon the aroma of the brew will help wake him and hopefully his wife. Gathering the ingredients from the fridge, he heats up the skillet as he mixes the eggs in a large bowl. He chops up the vegetables that he will add to the omelets that he makes for he and Kate while he'll make scrambled eggs for the kids. Pulling out the toaster, he loads it with the first slices of bread.

He goes back to the fridge and pulls out the orange juice and milk that the kids will want with their meal. Castle pours himself a large cup of coffee and smiles as he takes a taste, pleased with the aroma. In spite of it being Saturday, he knew that the kids would be up as soon as they smelled the food being prepared and he was correct. Lilly was down the stairs first followed quickly by the twins. He asks his daughter to help set the table as he fills the bowl with the freshly made eggs. Rick was preparing Kate's omelet when he felt her arms circle around his waist from behind and place a soft kiss on his cheek.

"Morning beautiful." Rick comments as she releases him from her embrace. "Coffee's ready." He nods and gestures towards the pot.

She gives him a look as if he needs to have his eyes examined. She was also dressed in loose lounging pants and an equally ratty tee shirt, her hair was pulled into a lazy ponytail and she felt anything but beautiful at the moment. Kate could also see from the way he was looking at her this moment with such adoration, his opinion couldn't be changed. Rick plated her omelet as she munched on a piece of dry toast and sipped her coffee. He quickly prepared his omelet and plated it. Lilly and Kate carried the food to the table while the twins watched their father prepare the meal. Once everything was ready, the Castle clan ran for the dining room, Rick bringing up the rear.

Rick and Kate sat there holding hands and smiling at each other. This was truly perfection. The stuff that dreams were made of, at least for Castle. He quietly starts to chuckle to himself at a thought.

"What's so funny Rick?" Kate inquires, puzzled by his laugh.

"I was just remembering how shocked you were when Simon told you that not only you would become a senator, but that you would have three children... He was right about everything... Maybe he really was from the future?"

Kate gives his hand a squeeze. "Sometimes I have to ask myself if this is all just a dream..." She leans forward and places a soft kiss on the lips of her husband, her soulmate...

"If this is a dream, don't ever wake me..."

The sounds of the the different monitors beeping and chiming out of sequence gave proof to just how serious the condition of the patient hooked to all of them actually was. His heart had stopped twice on the operating table, and both times they were able to bring him back. It was hours later when the blood clot broke loose and lodged in his brain. The EEG showed no higher level brain function and he was placed on a ventilator, unable to breathe on his own.

There had been no change in his condition for the last 48 hours and the doctors advised his daughter and mother that there was no hope for recovery. They understood and knew that Rick would not want to be kept alive in such a manner when his beloved Kate had already succumbed to her injuries days ago now. One by one, Rick's friends came to see him one last time before the machines were turned off. As the time came, Alexis, Martha, Hayley, Lanie, Kevin and Javi surrounded the bed. Alexis leaned over and placed a soft kiss on his forehead as she whispers 'I love you daddy' and let out an anguished sob. Martha clasps her son's hand in hers as she nods at the doctor. He turns away and shuts off the ventilator and all of the alarms on the various monitors still attached to him.

The group watches as his heart stops beating a few seconds later and what appears to be a smile forms on his face as he gives into the unknown. All of the women in the room begin to weep and Javi and Kevin both fight back tears of their own. The doctor turns back to the group, giving them an apologetic look as he leaves them alone with Castle.

Martha takes her sobbing granddaughter into her arms and assures her that her father was in a better place. A place where he and Kate would be together and forever young...

Always.


End file.
